That's not the way the world works, Momma

Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.

~ Rumi

Our four-year-old granddaughter knows things. She often tells me I don’t know all the things that she does. She may not be wrong.

Her funniest line last week, when being disciplined by her mother, was “That’s not the way the world works, Momma. We’ll talk about this later,” as she walked away defiantly.

Research shows that young children display a remarkable form of “inner knowing”—a blend of core knowledge and intuitive or spiritual awareness present from birth or early infancy. This helps explain why their instincts can seem so strong.

Yet adults often unintentionally teach young children not to trust this inner knowing by encouraging social politeness and deference to adult authority over the child’s internal safety signals.

Common practices that undermine this trust include forcing physical affection (such as hugging relatives), demanding compliance with adult instructions regardless of context, and prioritizing adult perspectives over the child’s feelings.

Closing thoughts

While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.

~ Angela Schwindt

When children’s gut feelings are dismissed or overridden, they learn to suppress their "inner knowing." This suppression can lead to self-doubt, confusion in decision-making, and an increased vulnerability to danger, as children may ignore warning signs of unsafe situations because they have been conditioned to believe their instincts are incorrect or impolite.

Raising children is not easy. None of us are experts. We have a lot to learn.