The love of a mother

The truth is, you cannot love yourself unless you have been loved and are loved. The capacity to love cannot be built in isolation.

~ Bruce D. Perry MD PhD

Bringing up children was easier when families lived near each other, and a new mother could rely on the wisdom and support of her extended family.

The birth of a child is the greatest blessing. But, seldom are we prepared for the demands placed on our time and ability.

With such a great gift comes great responsibility

As the African proverb suggests, it takes a village to raise a child. Many cultures recognize that parenting is a shared responsibility.

Breast milk is the perfect human food. Its composition changes based on the needs of the growing infant. Early on, the baby needs to feed every one to three hours throughout the day, including nighttime. A lot of support and encouragement are needed to facilitate the mother's ability to nurse. Her job, cannot easily be outsourced.

It is easy to feel overwhelmed with the care of an infant that needs to feed on demand. Mom must be well hydrated and nourished. The physical trauma of childbirth impairs her ability to cook, clean, keep up with the laundry and frequent health check visits early on. Help is needed to allow mom to adapt to the increased demands of her time.

A time to reflect

The amazing thing about becoming a parent is that you will never again be your own first priority.

~ Olivia Wilde

I have watched my daughter become a caring and selfless mother. The love and connection she is establishing with her baby are awe-inspiring.

In her prep work to become a mother, she learned that the fetus becomes accustomed to the mom's resonance in-utero and relies on proximity to her to help attune its developing central nervous system.

Research shows that the absence of primary attachment figures, usually mothers, in the first three years of life, when 85% of the right brain develops, can set one up for stress disorders later in life.

Unless an infant is soothed as needed and receives cues of safety in the formative years, brain development, and central nervous system function, will be impaired.

Only the mom can feed the baby initially if nursing is to succeed. Breast milk supply is based on demand. The more baby feeds, the more milk mother produces.

Fortunately, both my daughter and her husband are home. The baby sleeps in their bedroom. During the day, the baby is awake or asleep where mom, dad or another caring relative happens to be. Feeling safe, secure and well-nourished, the baby is relatively peaceful.

Closing thoughts

We cannot love ourselves and others unless we have first felt unconditionally loved. The love for self prevents disease and dysfunction as we age.

An enlightened society should value a mom's job above all else, facilitating the love and support she needs.

Healthy parenting early on prevents a burden on healthcare over the long term.

Wishing all mothers a very happy and restful Mother's Day.