Quietly reflecting

Everyone shines, given the right lighting.

~ Susan Cain

Growing up, I was the quiet one in a rowdy household. My mother, an extrovert who was energized by social, constantly apologized for my being shy.

I longed for solitude. My nervous system was overwhelmed by excessive input.

Today, while I enjoy interacting with others, a couple of hours into a party, I'm longing for the comforts of home. But, thanks to Susan Cain, I'm no longer ashamed.

The Power of Introverts

If you're an introvert, you also know that the bias against quiet can cause deep psychic pain. As a child you might have overheard your parents apologize for your shyness. Or at school you might have been prodded to come "out of your shell" - that noxious expression which fails to appreciate that some animals naturally carry shelter everywhere they go, and some humans are just the same.

~ Susan Cain

According to Susan Cain, if we need to recharge after social interaction, we are likely introverts.

In a world that can’t stop talking, introverts can feel insecure.

By the way, Finland is a highly introverted nation, yet it has been ranked the happiest nation on the planet, six years in a row.

Although we cannot pigeonhole people into the extremes of introversion and extroversion (there is a spectrum of comfort in interaction), where we lie currently is best answered by what energizes us.

If you prefer listening to talking, reading to socializing, and cozy chats to group settings, you may be an introvert. There is power in that.

Awkward conversation

Because the rhythm of conversation makes no allowance for dead periods, because the presence of others calls for continuous responses, we are left to regret the inanity of what we say, and the missed opportunity of what we do not.

~ Alain de Botton

I have habitually gravitated to those who would do the small talk for me.

With a perception of limited time, when you tend to think out loud, you often regret what was said and left unsaid. Quickly, you learn to hush up and listen.

A coping mechanism for me when entertaining at home is a tendency to fill my time with busyness, cooking, cleaning, decorating - anything to avoid an awkward conversation.

Awareness helps create change. I can become better at conversation.

A benefit of blogging

Our oldest problem is the pain of separation, our deepest dream is the desire for reunion.

~ Susan Cain

Over the past year, my blogs have presented my thoughts as they occur. I often go back days later to make sense of and edit what I attempted to express.

With blogging, unlike with small talk, I have the opportunity to reflect later and correct myself.

Follow up on last week's blog

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

~ Viktor E. Frankl

All this to say, although my thoughts were random and, at times nonsensical in last week’s blog, setting the intent to overcome my spring allergies worked.

Although we are experiencing unprecedented environmental insults here in Ontario, due to forest fires, I am symptom free.

It could be that the current type of elevated pollen counts are less offensive to me.

I finally bought and started using Stinging Nettle Leaf Extract. so that might have helped.

And, I also reflected on what else happened in 2006. That was the year I started to suffer from spring allergies? Suffice it to say, it was a challenging year.

What have I learned?

I must show up more mindfully in the gap between stimulus and response. Turning off the noise and quietly contemplating, with an open heart and mind, solves countless problems.