Privilege deprivation

Only 26 percent of Canadians can affordably buy a single-family home right now.

 ~ R.J. Johnston/Toronto Star December 21, 2023

Our daughter reconnected with an acquaintance from her childhood karate lessons (I'll call her Hannah) at a Parent Connections meeting. 

Hannah married a man who comes from a working-class family in Europe. 

She and her husband are both teachers and have a seven-month-old baby. Under current circumstances, they cannot afford to buy a home or have a second child in Canada.

Hannah expressed frustration about how unaffordable life has become for young families in our country. 

With exceptional financial literacy, Hannah demonstrated how on a teacher's salary, she and her husband can't afford to provide their child the comforts of her upbringing.

The lack of support from her parents, who live nearby, is adding to Hannah's frustration.

A trip to her husband's family home has inspired them to move abroad. 

Hannah was overwhelmed by her in-laws' generosity. They have so little material wealth, yet demonstrate a mindset of abundance. Neither she nor her husband had to change a single diaper or cook any of their meals. It was such a welcome change. 

Reflecting on Hannah's story

It takes a whole village to raise a child. 

~ African Proverb

Parents aspire to give their children at least as much as they had growing up. 

Hannah and her husband are thoughtful and courageous parents willing to move to another country where they believe they can provide more for their family.

In 1971, my parents left their home to bring us to North America - the land of opportunity - for the same reason.

My mother came to express regret when she saw moms, with no extended family support, quickly returning to work to make ends meet. It was her sincere belief that children needed to be raised by loved ones for optimal health and function.

The dilemma of outsourcing care

The outsourced hearth = billions $$$$ on products and services that stand in for the care, quality, and nutrition of homemade. And we’re exhausting ourselves trying to pay for it all.

~ Hearth Matters

Growing up in an environment where people can afford to outsource domestic labour, including childcare, cooking, gardening, and cleaning, to focus on their careers habituates a comparable lifestyle for offspring. 

It is easy to understand that grandparents who were able to pay others for child-rearing duties can feel incompetent or helpless in their ability to lend a helping hand. And, today, with the increased cost of living for all, they may not be in a position to offer financial assistance to their children and grandchildren. 

Having the opportunity to immerse myself in the life of young parents, I can see how those who lack support may resort to eating ultra-processed convenience foods, rely on electronic babysitters, and sedate infants who naturally have erratic sleep schedules with medicine. 

It does take a village to raise a healthy child. A lack of support in early childhood is an overlooked, detrimental social determinant of health. 

A society that neglects to allocate resources to early childhood development increases long-term healthcare costs and risks creating patients for life. Our government has recently started to subsidize childcare but it can be very difficult to find quality care.

Today, it's more than just the destitute who are left behind. More than ever, the need for a two-income household to make ends meet, with minimal support in child rearing, impoverishes us all.

Privilege deprivation may be a reason why younger generations are less inclined to have children. Fertility rates have reached the lowest level on record in Canada.