Numbing emotional pain

“Ask not why the addiction. Ask why the pain.”

~ Gabor Maté MD

This blog post was prompted by one of my clients who, not in these exact words, asked me why she 'craved comfort food when her baby was fussy'. 

Dr. Gabor Maté has been a profound influence in my life. He is: a retired physician who treated those afflicted by addiction in Vancouver’s Eastside, a best selling author and former Globe and Mailcolumnist. Over time, partially because  of his teachings, I have become more compassionate - less judgmental - especially when it comes to behaviours involved in numbing pain.

I was first introduced to Dr. Maté’s work by the principal at my daughter’s middle school, back in 2004. A newsletter recommending a book he co-authored “Hold onto your kids – Why parents need to matter more than peers” sent me promptly to the book store.

The content resonated with me, so I went on to read some of his other books, including “When the body says no – The hidden cost of stress”and “In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts – Close encounters with addiction”. I also made the effort to hear Gabor speak whenever the opportunity presented itself.

Through his writing and lectures, it became perfectly clear to me how Western medicine erroneously continues to treat mind and body as separate entities. While science has proven this separation to be false, sadly the dichotomy persists.

The body systems that process emotions (hormonal, nervous, immune) are intimately connected. Through the molecules they produce when processing emotion, these body systems create an imprint in our cells. We actually store 'issues in our tissues' and may even pass them on to our offspring. An example often cited is that stressed pregnant women are more likely to give birth to asthmatic children. And what is the treatment of choice for asthma? Drugs that act like cortisol, a stress hormone.

'Your biography becomes your biology."

~ Caroline Myss Ph.D

Adverse childhood events can come back to haunt us, especially those we have suppressed, predisposing us to chronic conditions like cancer, Lou Gehrig’s disease, Multiple Sclerosis, Rheumatoid Arthritis and other autoimmune conditions. This is the body’s cry for help. Addressing the non-physical aspects of these illnesses can manifest in “miraculous” recovery. So don’t just treat the disease or symptoms.

Quite the tangent from a simple question by my client. But, based on what I've learned from Dr. Gabor Maté’s work, it was so easy for me to make it clear how a sleep deprived mom with a fussy little baby, can feel the need to numb emotional pain with refined food. Many of us have been programmed to associate treats with tender loving care. 

Awareness helps create change. The next time you find yourself craving unhealthy food, or any other addictive substance, ask yourself "Am I hungry for food or comfort? Is there a better way to nourish myself right now?"

Thinking of you.