Expect ingratitude

 Let’s not expect gratitude. Then, if we get some occasionally, it will come as a delightful surprise. If we don’t get it, we won’t be disturbed. It is natural for people to forget to be grateful; so, if we go around expecting gratitude, we are headed straight for a lot of heartaches.

~ Dale Carnegie

To cultivate an attitude that brings lasting peace and happiness, learn to expect ingratitude while practicing gratitude.

When we give and keep score, expecting something in return, we are bound to suffer.

Gratitude is not innate. It is a cultivated trait that must be practiced over time.

Focus on actions, not reactions

When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.

~ Maya Angelou

Last week, I took the time to help a young lady with a health concern. It was within my scope of practice. I volunteered unlimited time to do an assessment until I successfully identified the underlying cause of her affliction and offered actionable guidelines to help her solve it.

I  followed up with a comprehensive instructive email.

It gave me great pleasure to help. During our conversation, this young woman expressed feeling validated and empowered to take control of her health.

I haven’t heard back from her.

When I shared the story with our daughter, Erica, she asked if I expected to be thanked.

Did I? I did wonder if the email was received. I have had technical difficulties which I have yet to resolve. When we send a letter by mail, we do appreciate knowing it arrived.

This young lady has sought success coaching from Erica. Inspiring her to cultivate an attitude of gratitude, will pave the way to achieve her goals.

We teach what we have to learn.

Give unconditionally

Always give without remembering and always receive without forgetting.

~ Brian Tracy

It is through providing service to others that we feel useful and happy. Learning to give unconditionally is key to joyful living.

Growing up in a culture that reciprocated acts of kindness rather than sending formal thank you notes, receipt of a thank you note has, at times, reminded me of my incompetence in embracing local customs. It did not feel good.

Unconditional giving is always reciprocated, one way or another. It comes from a mindset of abundance, not lack.

Receiving naturally creates a sense of indebtedness. The receiver is inclined to pay it forward.

Focusing on lack, or what’s missing, creates a sense of poverty, never having enough.

What’s in it for me thinking comes from a mindset of lack. You may become rich but impoverished in other ways, such as health and relationships.

Closing thoughts

We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.

~ Winston Churchill

Give with the intent to enrich the lives of others, not your own.

And, start to practice gratitude. Keep a daily gratitude journal. Make it a habit to share something you are grateful for at the dinner table.