Children owe us nothing

Blessed is he that expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.

~ Benjamin Franklin

A sense of entitlement can be hard to bear.

Disappointment is the product of unmet expectations.

Life will become cumbersome if parents believe their children are indebted to them.

Children owe us nothing. For most, it was a choice to bring them into the world.

We raise children to become dependent or independent, grateful or ungrateful, kind or unkind, respectful or disrespectful.

Unconditional love is reciprocated.

Resentment is destructive to our personal and collective well-being.

An attitude of gratitude saves the day.

Starting a family

Through reciprocity, the gift is replenished. All of our flourishing is mutual.

~ Robin Wall Kimmerer

Ideally, a new parent has grown up and does not need much parenting. They have become self-sufficient.

Knowing when to delegate and when to do are skills that will serve one well.

Having a committed spouse or partner to help manage a household simplifies life, where there are children.

With reduced access to extended family members, who historically helped raise offspring, sharing household duties is crucial for a family to function well.

Through equal contribution, we model good behaviour.

Delegators and doers

To do it all and deprive others of doing is...a misguided notion.

~ Jan Karon

Opposites attract.

Although we need both delegators and doers, the delegators who become accustomed to outsourcing mundane tasks may become dependent and disgruntled when they have no one to act on their behalf later in life.

Having agency, the ability to handle whatever one seeks to accomplish, no matter how challenging or mundane, is essential to healthy aging.

Aging well

Two things define you:

Your patience when you have nothing and your attitude when you have everything.

~ Imam Ali

If we have become accustomed to relying on others to meet our needs, it is likely that physically, later in life, we have become dependent.

In a healthcare setting where resources are scarce, a sense of entitlement serves no one well.

A victim mentality with a scarcity mindset is especially challenging, not only to one’s health but to the health and well-being of extended family and society.

An attitude of gratitude attracts kindness and support.

When we believe no one owes us anything, anything we receive becomes an unexpected blessing.