A twist in the blog

Developing and maintaining healthy marital relationships, in an increasingly complex world, is a challenge.

This blog was inspired by one of my clients. Her parents are immigrants, with very traditional views. In fact, her mother tried to discourage her from attending university because she feared that with an education her daughter was less likely to marry one of their own - remain committed to cultural traditions.

Well this young woman did go to university, experienced incredible success upon graduating, and still married within her culture. When the marriage did not work however, because she was “financially independent” she had the courage and freedom to walk away - much to her parents’ chagrin.

It's a woman's prerogative to change her mind, but it's expensive.

According to at least one study, women initiate 70% of divorces. Is a woman more likely to initiate divorce if she is “financially independent”? One would think so. It is extremely difficult, and takes a lot of courage to leave a marriage if unable to support oneself and one’s children. As two income households have nearly doubled over the past 40 years, so too have divorce rates.  But is it correlation or “causation” (relationship between cause and effect)? 

This is where I changed my mind about pursuing this topic further, because I kept coming back to the impact my comment on immigrants with traditional views would have on the collective psyche. 

Sometimes I experience analysis paralysis and fail to ship it when tackling a controversial topic or any subject that has the potential to hurt any of my readers. I have lost sleep over something I later re-read and realized the way the thought was expressed, was unintentionally somewhat insensitive. 

So I will leave you with this for today until I find a way to express some pearls of wisdom on how to develop and maintain healthy marital relationships.

This is a tweet my daughter Erica got from a Managing Partner of an organization she is a member of.

40% of my new class of entrepreneurs at Founder Institute Toronto are women. 75% of the entire class are minorities (most of them immigrants). The average age of this cohort is 31 years old. There are 43 founders here looking to launch a tech start up. Watch this class @foundingTO and at www.facebook.com/FIToronto

So it appears men are still more likely to take risks – to venture out on their own, to innovate. But women are not far behind. Millennials are dreaming big - high five! And let’s hear it for immigrants - who had the courage to leave their tribe, to venture out to a foreign land where they do not always feel welcome, to work hard, turn dreams into reality, create jobs for locals. By the way, Steve Job’s biological father was from Syria. Who does not enjoy the use of a Mac, an iPhone, an iPad?

Maybe I’m talkin’ my position.

Good enough.

P.S. Stay tuned, I'll share some pearls of wisdom about healthy marital relationships in a complex world in the next couple of weeks.

Originally published June 9th, 2017