When our parents become dependent

Aging parents show us the true meaning of patience, love, and the circle of life.

Observing the age-related dependency and cognitive decline in our parents nudges me to do what I can now to reduce the likelihood that my children will have to look after me.  

Unlike the rapid growth of infancy, aging can be a gradual process of decline in which the body and brain lose capacity rather than gain new skills. Yet, we can easily overlook this decline in our parents until we face it in an emergency.

As when raising our own children, when the need to look after our parents arises, we are once again challenged to become more patient and selfless.

It is common to experience regret about not having focused more on prevention.

Individually, and collectively, we are programmed to ignore prevention because it is hard to monetize.

Conveniences gained can become skills lost

That which is used develops. That which is not used wastes away.

~ Hippocrates

In my own family, I have witnessed that what we do not use, we lose.

Occasionally, fearing falls or trying to minimize painful movement, we prematurely add conveniences such as in-home stair lifts, mobility scooters, walkers, and grocery and meal delivery. We outsource financial management. Unintentionally, we reduce self-sufficiency.

Other times, we ignore signs of decline until our parents become victims of fraud or experience a preventable fall.

Sometimes, an acute illness that is mismanaged leads to rapid decline. The inability to nourish oneself back to health, and immobility can quickly become debilitating.

This can even happen in a hospital setting. For example, due to staff shortages, a patient may be unnecessarily given a catheter to collect urine to prevent a fall. Prolonged time in bed leads to bone and muscle atrophy, bed sores, poor circulation, blood sugar imbalance, inflammation, etc., leading to the need for prolonged rehabilitation or end-of-life care.

Sadly, the hands that once held us are now the ones we must hold. Lest we do, seldom can we understand what's to come and how best to prepare.