Helping the helpless

When we long for life without difficulties, remember that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.

~ Peter Marshall

At some point in our lives, we may experience existential distress.

The core attributes of this condition include an incapacitating state of despair, loss of meaning, and hopelessness, often triggered by serious illness, mortality awareness, or major life transitions, like the loss of a loved one.

Unlike depression, existential distress is defined by a loss of purpose and anticipatory pleasure rather than a loss of interest or pleasure in the present moment.

During my visits with my mother, I am faced with existential distress.

Her sense of the meaninglessness of life, profound isolation and fear of prolonged dying is debilitating and only temporarily relieved by the presence of her children. She refuses all other care and has lost the will for self-care.

Her helplessness is so difficult to witness that I busy myself with food preparation, house and yard clean-up, leaving little time to chat.

Acts of service happen to be my preferred love language.

Although I don’t say it aloud, my siblings and I observe that if Mom accepted the care we’d arranged, we’d have more time to chat when we visit.

Any attempt we make to give her something to look forward to is quickly dismissed.

She is not coachable yet.

Closing thought

A man’s concern, even his despair, over the worthwhileness of life is an existential distress but by no means a mental disease.

~ Viktor E. Frankl

We are here to learn and to become better versions of ourselves. When we believe that all people come into our lives for a reason, we are open to the life lesson.

Perseverance leaves no regret.